Monday, December 31, 2012

INTO THE WILD-2


Jungle owlet hoots early in the dawn
And drags me out of my dream
Unwillingly, I molt from the sleeping bag
‘Let’s go commandos’ I hear a call
He’s none other than our Raju dai!

Around the fire, we gather
Rapid fire round ticks in the clock
Heart beats as if it’s gonna explode now
Everyone looks pale as if they are sentenced to hell.

With the arms and ammunitions (C’mon not for the war)
Including binoculars, books, note books, pen and camera
Along the transects we march ahead into the wild.

Oh, that’s black kite points one
No, that’s Osprey yells another
‘sssh, this is a jungle not a fish market’
We start whispering.

Few steps ahead, we fit our camera traps
Hoping to capture all the animals
When it comes to perform walk test
I am always a Rhino!
 
We hear a strange noise behind the bushes
Wow, there’s a rhino enjoying his meal
Hiding behind the trees, we try to have a glance
And enjoy the scene.

Following the pugmarks, scats and pellets
We run across the river, forest, grasslands
Every day is a new learning
And a new experience!

Unloading ourselves around the fire
And howling like jackals
Having fun with no limitations
Followed by some important lessons.

Power-points, paper-works and all the hard tasks
Inspiring movies and wonderful documentaries
were just amazing
(With the background music of snores was always well collaborated)

Birds to cats and pugmarks to scats
Butterflies to snakes and frogs to crocs
We kept on following but sometimes it sucks!

No matter how far we walked
No matter how hard we worked
All the memories that we spent together
are fresh like the scats in the bank of Narayani.

With the aspirations to become
Wildlife biologists, birdist or
Experts of herpeto-fauna and butterflies in the days to come
We march ahead into the wild!!

Saturday, December 15, 2012

THE LOST WARRIOR


The mighty canines that smeared many preys are now blunt
The tusks that clashed in great battles are just show cases
The growls of bear that was once so loud has turned mute
The birds have stopped singing and monkeys have stopped climbing
The rhinos and hippos have no works except sleeping and basking.

Isn’t it pathetic?

And no more wild as the wilderness is gone
Have turned to living specimens with nothing own
Compelled to live behind the bars
And hear the human’s noise and tease.
The legendary is dead and gone.



“Oh dear human, please leave me free!
Let me spread my wings and fly in the sky
Let me run far and wide
Let me sing the songs I like
Let me live my own life”
Is what I read through their eyes!

Friday, October 19, 2012

LEFT ALONE

Flipping through the pages of my torned diary
every words, letters, sentences are so fresh like the smell of the wet soil
Alas! Is this me?
'We'll never be apart'- is what u said
I smiled back.
'I can't imagine my life without you,' is what i replied.
Now, here I am, we are apart and I am still living!
U used to say  ' u'll never leave me'
Now, I am left alone to freeze


I was begging u, crying over u
but my voice turned mute to u
U no longer feel me
Strangers, what we have become.

I was shattered, trampled
by the disaster that fell upon me
I yelled, cried, punished myself the way i can
with the bruises all around
I was aghast at the pool of sheer emptiness

Struggling everyday to overcome the agony
I do numerous silly acts
but again, at the end of the day
I am haunted by your image
ur presence hallucinates me
but u slipped through my finger tips
and i couldn't hold you tight

Crippled by the malady u gifted me
i am learning to  live everyday
once the soulmates ,now stand aloof
Fairy tales no longer exists, is what i learned


Together we shall remain, we had vowed
Gone with the wind, washed with the rain
Now here I am left alone
with all my Loneliness!!

Monday, October 15, 2012

Where the mind is without Fear


WHERE the mind is without fear and the head is held high
Where knowledge is free
Where the world has not been broken up into fragments
By narrow domestic walls
Where words come out from the depth of truth
Where tireless striving stretches its arms towards perfection
Where the clear stream of reason has not lost its way
Into the dreary desert sand of dead habit
Where the mind is led forward by thee
Into ever-widening thought and action
Into that heaven of freedom, my Father, let my country awake.
-Rabindranath Tagore

 One of my favorite poems, which  has always inspired me to rise above the narrow lines that my dear brothers and sisters have created in the name of borders. The poem has always inspired me to learn more and more, which gives me an immense pleasure. UN Declaration of human rights has mentioned in Article 26 “Every one has right to education” But still, why many children are compelled to stay far away from the beam of education? This is what Malala Yousafza; a gallant, creative, beautiful, talented 14 year Pakistani girl is fighting against.

Malala Yousafzai, born on 1998, is from the town of Mingora in Swat District, Khyber Pakhtunkhwa, and northwestern Pakistan. She is known for her education and women’s rights activism in the Swat Valley, where the Tehrik-i-Taliban regime had banned girls from attending school in early 2009. During that period, at the age of 11, Yousafzai came to prominence through a blog she wrote for the BBC detailing her life under the Taliban regime, their attempts to take control of the valley, and her views on promoting education for girls. Later that year, the Pakistani military intervened, culminating in the expulsion of the Taliban from the Swat Valley. Yousafzai has since been nominated for several awards, and has won Pakistan's first National Peace Prize.


On 9 October 2012, Yousafzai was shot in the head and neck in an assassination attempt by a Taliban gunman while returning home on a school bus. She remains unconscious but her conditions are improving.
Malala Yousafza, who dreamt a country where "education would prevail", has reminded me of a young Jewish girl, Anne Frank, whose diary had created similar sensations worldwide. All those hardships she had to undergo hiding in her Secret Annexe always inspire me not to give up. Although Anne had a tragic end, our star Gul Makai (her pen name in the diary) is yet to rise. The way she has been advocating about women’s rights in such a young age, we can surely predict she can compensate the loss of Benejir Bhutto.
The thing that I really hate is the way people still think in the 21st century. We still belong to the society where girls are regarded as nothing. We are still crippled by the age-old dead practices that regard woman as a commodity; the material created to satisfy MEN. She needs no rights, education or an independent life who is a slave to man since her birth till she reaches the tomb. She has to be always cautious, the way she walks, the way she speaks, the way she eats, the way she dresses up, the way she laughs…each and everything. She is always being watched.

What a pity! 

The biggest fear women have is the fear of losing her purity or virginity. We have been taught to be pure no matter what and the purity is about the vagina; keeping it safe. And if she couldn’t preserve it, she would be sentenced to death or banished from a society. And what about men, don’t they need to be pure?  To explain this I would like to give a wonderful example: Most of us love animals, specially the tigers. The territory of a male tiger ranges 40-45 kms which includes at least 2 female tigers. What I meant by this information is that men who are brave, strong should have as many women as possible.
One needs to be safe from the enemy while   the other has to possess her for his superiority complex. So, isn’t it a prey-predator paradox? 
I hear girls getting called sluts, bitch and see implied disapproval of girls who have “too many” boyfriends. I haven’t heard any of this negativity around guys having countless girlfriends. And isn’t it ironic when thrice divorced, morally ambiguous man try to hold a girl on his standards of morality? But, this is what happens every day in our societies. In Egypt, almost over 80% of women are sexually harassed on a daily basis.
A recent government survey found that 47 percent of all Nepalese women report being the victims of either physical, emotional, sexual or economic violence. But 84 percent of those who are victims of domestic violence remain silent. The situation is dire.

As Jessica Valenti said-
“the hope I have for women: that we can start to see ourselves-and encourage men to see us-as more than just the sum of our sexual parts: not as virgins or whores, as mothers or girlfriends, or as existing only in relation to men, but as people with independent desires, hopes and abilities.”
‘The division of the sexes is a biological fact, not an event in a human history. We might evidently ask ourselves" whether bald and hairy men had the same or opposite natures; and agreeing that they have opposite natures, might forbid hairy men to be shoemakers if bald men are, or forbid bald men if hairy men are." The crux: IF we find either the male or the female sex excelling the other in any art or other pursuit, then we shall say that this particular pursuit must be assigned to one and not to another. Hence, men and women's differences are the result of nature or learning’- Simone de Beauvoir, ‘division of labor must be made by aptitude and ability, not by sex; if a woman shows her skills.’


I am not against men and their behavior. I am against our orthodox patriarchal programming that has manacled our minds. The problem is not men; they were never a problem but a sub-ordinate. We are born with this malady of the spirit inherited from our orthodox norms and values. We have confined ourselves within the Plato's cave of shadows. As the saying goes, ‘Diamond cuts diamond’ women themselves are the enemy of each other, especially in the Nepalese society. We are busy back-biting, pulling one’s leg, quarreling almost till we survive. It’s our own mother who abandons us to touch our father, brother during our periods; it’s our own mother-in-laws who burn us alive for the sake of dowry. The list goes on. And on top of it, wicked men continue to exploit our vulnerabilities. We need to go beyond the boundaries that we have made for ourselves.

Just remember, that you have the ability to end things that you don't like and to say something isn't okay when it isn't okay. You have the power to insist on good and real things for yourself. You always have the choice to walk away when you are not being treated with respect and most of all you have the right to make adjustments regarding anything and everything to your life. Life is the sum of all YOUR choices.
So, let’s join our hands in front of the Almighty, for the faster recovery of our Malala and vow that no any girl will be devoid of the brightness of the education because our society needs both productive men as well as women. True is the saying ,’If a woman in a family is educated, the whole family will be educated.’ WE RISE!!


Friday, October 5, 2012

Lost in the darkness

Night is in its height
the room is brutally dark and silent.
But still she can hear a loud noise,screeching and howling
she runs here and there,
her dresses are torn almost everywhere, hair seems uncombed for months

she looks pitiful, starving with hunger, trembling with the cold
Suddenly, he breaks huge laughter
 the sound echoes the whole room
again, she starts crying madly.

She is tied with chains like a dog
high dosed medicines have tranquilized her
she no longer cries, shouts or laughs.
she is lost in the darkness.

Sunday, August 26, 2012

FOR YOUTHS OF TODAY

In words of James” Youth is the joy, the little bird that has broken out of the eggs and is eagerly waiting to spread out its wings in the open sky of freedom and hope.”

Every day, I wake up with a new hope that this day is going to be special .With the same hope, I got up, when I removed my curtain, the twinkling rays of sun delights me and a cool breeze whispers me something “It’s your day”, I immediately flipped through the calendar, of course it’s my day, your day, it’s “International Youth Day”
Then, who is a youth?
According to Wikipedia, Youth is the time of life between childhood and adulthood (maturity), the age of discoveries and dreams.
Youth is the carrier of change; either it is big changes like the revolution or the small changes like change in the life-style. Youths are the ones who have got the zeal, passion, energy, power to create as well as destroy anything. They undertake the task of changing the face of the society. Conclusively, we can say that youth is the vanguard of change and progress. Youth is considered to be the spring of life, where the world is full of happiness, excitements, adventures, fun. This is the time when the word ‘impossible’ doesn’t seem to be engraved in the dictionary. We aspire to grow, fly and achieve whatever we wish for. This is the reason why many people who have passed this stage envy youth and wish to get it back (I remember my favorite poem Lamentation of a Old Pensioner by W.B Yeats).
I took my breakfast and hurried towards my university. On the way, I see few guys residing near the tea-shop, enjoying cigarettes as well as teasing if any girl passes by. This is the normal scenario today as you can experience it in every nook and corner of our society.
I was already late to my class so I rushed. Lecturer was delivering lectures from the age-old notes which seem to have been excavated along with the treasures. I looked around; few couples were getting intimate, some throwing papers to each other and some busy in some other things. Except few first benchers, no one seems to be learning. Besides that, my few friends had bunked the class as it was too boring.
After class, I went library as I had some books to return, suddenly I met one of my seniors. He was busy doing GRE, SAT classes. He was not alone, many students dream going overseas for a beautiful future as it is believed that opportunities are perpetual there.



I had to submit assignment so I was searching my professor but he was absent. Later, I came to know that few students smeared black soot on his face because he was against their deed which was unknown. Few student leaders were chanting slogans against him. They seem to be very proud of their deed and were boasting. I thought, gone are the days when teachers were regarded as Gods, and now opposite seems to be relevant.
After the hectic schedule, I returned home. My brother and sister, both were busy in their facebook updates while father and mother were watching television. I also joined them. The news included political unrest, lengthening constitution-writing period, violence, murders, kidnaps, bombings, accidents. I was tired with all those sorts of news every day. So, I requested father to change the channel and play some daily soaps but he denied and rebuked saying I don’t have any feeling of nationalism. I didn’t say anything and got ready for meal.
Then, I sat on my study table to summarize my day and note in my diary. Today was the International Youth Day but how was it special for me?
I saw the youths of today. I saw the youths who are unaware of what’s going on around, who seem to enjoy being addicted to drug and sex. I saw the youths who are creating problems to others. I saw youths who hate own country and running behind some other. I saw youths who love to vandalize own property. I saw youths who don’t know the importance of education. I saw youth of today who just wish for the American life-style without any effort just like the magic wand was rotated over Cinderella. They give damn about national development and busy complaining all the time. This is not good, that is wrong. They did this. They are the culprits. We just blame others but we forget to look ourselves. Another problem is indifferent attitude towards things, situation and politics .The new cool formula of “let the things be “is proving fatal to Nepal’s development.
W. Somerset Maugham once said- ‘ It is an illusion that youth is happy, an illusion of those who have lost it; but the young know they are wretched for they are full of the truth less ideal which have been instilled into them, and each time they come in contact with the real, they are bruised and wounded.’
It seems youth is just like a castle of cards which seems beautiful to look but even a single stroke of wind can shatter it into pieces. We are hollow and by the time we gain wisdom we no longer have the energy to act upon. Don’t we have any responsibility towards our family, society and nation as a whole?
Nepal is a small yet beautiful country which has earned fame all across the globe due to its richness in the natural beauty, cultural diversity and many other significant factors. Brave Gurkhas to strong Sherpas. I must say God must have created Nepal in leisure and One life is surely not enough to visit every aspect of this wonderful nation. But due to the political unrest, strikes, violences all the time, we are disseminating negative impression in the world.
Nepal today is essentially a country of the youth, who are crippled by the dwindling situation of country, frustrated with the political process and worried about the lack of economic opportunities
When I ponder upon the historical background, go through the revolutionary phase, I find that Youth have played a pivotal role. Remember those massive youth-dominated pro-democracy demonstrations in April 2006?
As Hellen Keller had once said, ‘It is not possible for civilization to flow backwards while there is youth in the world. Youth may be headstrong, but it will advance it allotted length.’
When so many wise and intelligent people envy youth, then does it suit us to be mute spectators? Of course not. I do agree that we have lots of problems
I do agree that we have corrupt leaders
I do agree that we lack opportunities
I do agree that we are immature
I do agree that we are aggressive
I do agree that we are impatient
I do agree that we lack experiences
I do agree that we have turned into puppets of the politicians
I do agree that we have many lacking
But can this be an only excuse to withdraw and remain with hand crossed?
I refuse to believe that we can’t make a difference.
I refuse to believe that we can’t create history
I refuse to believe that we can’t dare to change
I refuse to believe that we lack potentialities
I refuse to believe that we have to wait getting old to be wise
I refuse to believe that we can’t dream of a stable nation.




My father had said me, ‘Be the change you wish to see in the world’.
The youth hopes for a world free of poverty, unemployment, inequality and exploitation of man by man. A world free of discrimination on the grounds of race, colour, language and gender. A world full of creative challenges and opportunities to conquer them.

The problem is we like to follow and we fear to lead .We don’t need big sacrifices; what we need to do is make an Initiation, start a movement against ourselves, our indifference, our carelessness. If we wait until all is perfect to move, we will never move ahead.

We are full of vibrant ideas, passion,compassion,desire,skills,and talents to make a new beginning, to convert our hopes into reality.

True is the saying-“Here is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age.” The full utilization of the talents of the Youth, Nepal will become a complete Nation

Hence, I intent and choose to keep growing, learning, experiencing and expanding in power, wisdom and service in the way that is most fun and an inspiration to all. I am not different but I act differently. I am the dream you dreamt. I am a wish you prayed. Who am I? I am the Youth of today!!


Friday, July 6, 2012

INTO THE WILD………..



Outside the classroom into the outdoors

Away the chaos towards the warm couch of nature

I set up my journey with my tiny luggage

Wherever my GPS n clinometers leads me

But does it work every time? Hehe, nope

Plain to den, gorge to ridge, high to low

Ups n downs we kept on marching

Into the wild……….


Enemies all around, creating obstacles

Curly leech to treachery thorns

Swallowing marshy lands to scorching sun

Shattering rains to attacking ants

But we kept on marching

Into the wild……



Crossing the rivers, holding the trees

Walking for hours n enjoying the breeze

What a happiness; all the pains got seized
.
Every new turn awaits the surprise

I try to catch n it always rises.

Still we kept on marching

Into the wild….



Breath-taking scenes to heart touching views

I was lost in the mist without any clues

A hand to hold n smile to calm

all the pains n the wounds that got engraved.

And we kept on marching

Into the wild…..



Rabbits, monkeys, goats to dove

Invaluable smiles and all the pure love

The gifts I grabbed from all those cliffs

And the never ending journey

with hardships and toils


Still we kept on marching

Into the wild…..



Fighting without reason n smiling all the while,

Singing all the dohoris n playing in the rain

Revealing the secrets n spreading all those gossips

Laughing at each other and posing all the time

Dancing with the tunes n complaining all the time

Stealing from the vines n slipping in the pines

But no worries, I am quite fine…

So, we kept on marching

Into the wild….



Wonderful company and strong support

Sweet Tit-bits and all those nokh-jokh

Were proven to be the colours of my life

A reason to add smiles on my face

And an inspiration to continue the never-ending race

So, thank you everyone for making it larger and really special

I promise that I will keep on marching

Into the wild…….

Saturday, June 2, 2012

Love and something like that......


I don’t know why but I feel that I should let him go. I must. He doesn’t deserve me. I just have long way to go… I can’t grab him n hide into my arms. I have no right to hold him tight when he will have wonderful life without me. I am feeling some kind of pain within me. Love is out of my capacity. It seems sweet and adorable beforehand but later turns out to be the bone stuck in the neck; u can neither swallow nor throw it out. Why should I? Everybody needs love. No, matter how loud you yell, how tough you seem to be but deep inside the core of your heart you dream of someone close to your heart. The one who makes you feel special, like you are the only girl in the world. The one who loves you the most, who trusts you, holds your hand tight whether it’s beautiful mustard farms or the tough path of life full of problems. I am really confused now. One says stay away while other pleads to hold his hand. But seriously speaking, falling in love is bliss as well as making one’s life more miserable. Sticking with the cell-phone either to send messages or receive calls, fighting over no reason, thinking only about the person, and dreaming the sweet future with him, dedicating songs, writing poems filled with love, feeling shy to face him n smiling for no reason, ha-ha. Speaking at the midnight under the quilt so that no one would hear. With the advent of someone, your life takes a U-turn. The love, affection given by that person becomes so precious. The missing part of you gets completed and you feel as if you are the luckiest person in the world to find your soul mate, the one with whom you need not hide anything, you are just yourself. All these sound quite silly but this adds some different flavor in one’s life. Everything is like a movie or a fairy tale and you are a character. It is a fantasy. On the other hand, it’s a headache. ‘Why was your phone busy? Why do you need me anymore? Don’t you miss me? Why should I be always first to remember? Don’t you trust me? Why didn’t you replied my message or received my call? You will be showered by the questions as if you are attending an interview. If somebody else has a crush on you then that is a sure weapon to be used to blackmail you emotionally. ‘Why would you remember me when you have so many dear ones?’ C’mon, it’s your life and you can do whatever you like. Is it necessary to seek permission or inform as a culprit does to a police? Of course, not. And in the case of boys, they are really experts in this case. They could easily melt the heart of any tough-soft hearted girl. Even if the girl has no feeling for him at first, he acts like a brave warrior constantly fighting without thinking the consequence. You can easily predict what happens to a huge and hard rock when hit continuously? Its sure to be broken, consequently, girl’s heart does melt and she starts to be lured by his sweet words. In course of time, the boy starts showing attitude. There is a sudden change in the behavior. He starts to reduce sending messages or calling her or say” I am little busy now, call me later.” Why was he never busy before and suddenly, what sort of work has over-burdened him? It might torture a girl for being avoided or given less importance. Once she used be ‘princess’ or ‘sweet-heart’ and suddenly her priority got reduced to a normal girl. I am not saying that only girls suffer, boys share similar or even worse stories. They need to invest a lot to win girl’s heart but rather than a girl if they start a small business it would be more profitable. Re-charge cards are so much spent that NTC or NCELL must be very happy with the business. Likewise, the gifts, chocolates, flowers are very common. These days girls have become very clever, they bargain with their beloved and the poor guy is compelled to follow her instructions. Not only girls, boys are also being manipulated. Nowadays, girls do bargaining even in choosing boy-friend; who can spend more on her or who is more advantageous and many other parameters. Conclusively, falling in love has both positive and negative aspects. It depends on you and your partner how much you support and understand each other. The thread of a relationship is very thin; it can easily get apart. Love can be a sweet gift as well as a big mistake.

Sunday, February 26, 2012

FALLING IN LOVE

Today, I am feeling like a bird!
No restrictions... no boundaries
Clear blue sky and u beside
What else I could demand!



Puffy cloud, calm sun and smooth breeze
Surge of emotions filled my heart
Holding hands and you next to me
Oh heart please beat slowly
I m nervous

Am I ready?
Your embracement, my waxed heart melts
An unknown feeling run into my veins..
You are a tranquilizer, amor
Abandoning you is to suffer more!

Just hold me tight
Hide beneath you
Let me fall in your arms
My last breath…just for you!

Thursday, January 5, 2012

A tale of two souls!

"I don't know anything, the only thing I know is: I love U"
that's how it started. His cupid darted right straight to her heart and she couldn’t escape! The wound was very deep but she wasn’t feeling any pain as if she was longing for it since long.
Aastha was a simple, young, energetic girl. She loved the way she was. Her friend’s said that she was quite cheerful, never afraid to stand up against anything wrong and very friendly! She was very bold kind of girl. It was very rare to see her sad and quite.
But like many of us, she had 2 faces; the one she was showing was strong, bold and happy while the hidden one was the sad, silent and fragile part of her deep within herself. As a normal teenager, she also wished for her prince charming that would hold her, embrace her and make her feel special. The guy who would accept her the way she is; both bold as well as fragile, silent, solitaire as well as gregarious. She was so complex yet simple. But all these feeling was lying locked in one of the dark and secret corners of her heart. She had hidden it safely so that it couldn’t be opened easily.
But the fate can’t be avoided. His innocence way of expressing his love like a small kid compelled her to think about it. His continuous knock on the door of her heart weakened the lock and it broke.
Bishwas had conquered her completely. He was a complete package,
Sometimes rude, sometimes polite,
Sometimes arrogant, sometimes sweet n soft.
Sometimes giving damn, sometimes caring
Sometimes hated, sometimes loved
Sometimes annoyed, sometimes joked
Sometimes full of attitudes, sometimes gentle
Sometimes cunning, sometimes innocent
Sometimes impatient, sometimes calm
Sometimes emotional, sometimes rigid
Sometimes fragile, sometimes strong!

All these blend of small adorable characters like a kid attracted her toward him. Knowingly, unknowingly he had become a part of her. Though Aastha tried a lot not to fall for him but she failed. The ambush became soft and sweet bed of flowers for her. His smile, his voice, little things he did not only affected her, they had tranquilized her.
The strange thing about their love story is that they had never seen or met each other. Thanx to the technology!! Two different people from different place were linked through these virtual waves and now they have shared their hearts too.
The girl asked frequently the reason to love her without seeing but the guy always refused to say anything, he just said-‘I don’t have reason to love u, but I love u!’ I don’t know how he judged her but he loved him truly. He couldn’t see his sweetheart being sad or silent. He loved the way she was. He felt as if the girl taught him how to live the life and she was some sort of inspiration to him. He used to comfort her, encourage her and love her like she is the bestest thing that ever happened to him. He had surrendered his sensitive heart to her so that she would keep it safely. She used to regard him as a walnut which is hard at cover but very soft inside. They used to talk for hours, dreaming about their future, quarreling, cracking jokes, laughing, appreciating each other, supporting, advising and most of the times loving each other.
I realized my weakness; I just want to be with you, hug you, cry in front of u and hugged by you. I have turned into Romeo always thinking about you and I want to hold you tight and kiss you. I will never let you go away. I wanna live with you, cry and die with you!
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The girl’s heart was melted by all these tender words of him. She had always dreamt that her life partner would possess characters of her father and just as she wished he had some of them. He was like Gu Jun Pyo of Jan Di (Boys over flowers) and Edward of Bella (twilight).
I have fallen for you and now I can’t stop thinking about you. I could be all that you needed if you let me try. I am in love for the first time and now I m terrified. I fear to not be with you. Just hold me close and never let me go. I am not perfect but I will try my best. You are the gift by God to me so I will do anything just to conserve u. Nothing will ever come between us coz I will be standing right next to you. I had never thought it would be so deep and beautiful but now it’s already better than that. I can’t imagine being away from you! So just hide me within yourself. I am very delicate so handle my heart with care!’
They both had some problems like they both have attitude problem. They can’t say sorry to each other so easily and don’t accept their mistakes. They had some superiority complex! The girl couldn’t express everything while the guy over-expresses himself. He was little demanding and too impatient sometimes. The girl becomes too rational and reasonable sometimes. The boy wants to hide himself from the world and this makes girl insecure sometimes. She wants the guy to be what he is, in front of her not what he shows to the rest. She wants that he would also trust her fully and have faith that she may be the one he was waiting for. And the guy also wants that she would always be polite and sweet to him. She would work as a healer to all his sufferings and pains. The problem with the guy was he doubts too much. He doubted himself; He doubts that he would be the right person for her or not, he will keep loving her or not, He will hurt her or not and many other things. He didn’t trust himself. But the girl is confident with her relation. She has faith on him and she thinks together they can create their own wonderful dreamland. The only thing she demands his support, love and respect. No matter what she is not going to leave his hands!
Everything was going perfect, their seed of love was getting good atmosphere to grow but then suddenly, one day the guy felt as if he is not the one for the girl. He thought the girl deserve more, he will not keep her happy. He started avoiding her. It wasn’t easy for him but he just wanted to prove him bad in her eyes. He was hurting himself just to make the girl get something that she deserves.He suddenly wanted to deviate and the reason was her happiness. He was a foolish. How could she be happy without him? How could she forget him or avoid him? He had become her life…her heart beat, her every breathe, her dream. She would rather face the storms holding his hand rather than leaving him alone in the storm. But he was trying so hard that the girl also took a step for him. They both were sacrificing their love for each other. Both are acting kiddish coz they are meant for each other,but they are just assuming that the other deserve mush better.

But still Aastha has little ray of hope that he would be back and realize that they are incomplete without each other.
Dear,I am lucky to fall in love with you..i m caught up in ur smile.I had never opened myself to anyone.I even don't wanna change u coz I loved u for what u are..But now, I am lost. I will never be the same without you.I don't know what is compelling u to be away from me coz i know that it's not easy for u too.You can't show off in front of me, dear. It's hard to hold back when I'm holding you in my arms.We needn’t rush and I don’t wanna mess things up.We can built the foundation on a solid stone so that winds ,hurricanes, storms can’t break our love..rains can’t flow it away.But it's possible only if we are together and I believe we can and we will.If we have confidence of success over our dreams and desires that we have trusted then we’ll achieve remarkable and unbelievable success!I just love you like never ever loved no one before and want to be loved by you forever!'
So, finally the girl have said her words and she is just waiting for the boy's decision!And the tale is in such a mode that it can turn anywhere, either to the end or a new beginning?
What do you prefer or what do you think they both deserve?



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Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Struggling with myself!

I don't know what to write and what to say but still i couldn't help it...
Neva thought this would happen
Neva thought i would feel it
Neva thought i would be so deep
Neva thought it would end before starting!
I neva wanted this to happen and i did..
Now i realize its all my fault!
I neva meant to!
Am i forbidden?
Is it sinful?
Can't i dream?
I m so fragile n weak..
I had to surrender!
but i m not going to be helpless..i will fight..and i will take revenge for all the pain!
I will fight wid myself! I will fight wid the thoughts! i will fight with the conceptions! i will fight wid the society! i will not let this happen wid others!
i kept quite for long but it doesn'

t mean i can't! I will not only complain now..
i will dare to change!
I will fight!!