Tuesday, October 11, 2011

And the pain continues......

I couldn’t stop my tears to roll down my cheeks. I cried and cried and asked myself-“What was my fault? Did I disappoint you or let you down?” again I thought he might be kidding as he always does and trying to fool me but ......no, he meant it. My mind was being echoed with his words and I was feeling as if someone is cutting me into pieces. Was our friendship meant to be broken in this way? “kritika, you are the one who is closest to me, even than me, myself.”- were these words a fake? Why did he do this?

Life, for me, had always been full of complexities. Since my childhood, I always had my own boundaries around me. The girl with strict and tough attitude and lots of expectations from life. I was always overloaded with the rules and responsibities being the eldest daughter in the family. I never had a life for myself. I was compelled to be matured by the circumstances and I even accepted it. I learnt to struggle with my pains and difficulties which made me very submissive as well as aggressive. Though I was quite happy, a small part of my heart always wished for a friend with whom I could be myself, with whom I would feel free to share my secrets, my pains and problems, with whom I could burst out my tears and even laugh with no fears. But I never had. So, friendship, for me was just a compulsion and truly, a waste of time. All those literary phrases regarding friendship were just rubbish, until my school days. But my opinion was compelled to alter by the entrance of few people in my life, yes! They are my friends and he was among them.

Our friendship began in very strange way, rather filmy way. We started to talk through truth or dare game and once he asked my number, I felt quite awkward. As I gave him my home number, he started blushing and spoke politely-“um...don’t you have cell phone...I need some of your notes.” and I gave him the number. He was a very shy boy.
Then, we started talking to each other. Though I found him quite different from me but thought of giving a try as I felt that he is a decent guy and chose him as one of my friends. I think, books and friends should be few but good. Gradually, I got to know him and I realized that he was among the few people who didn’t fear to speak truth about him whether it’s good or bad. He liked if someone pointed out his negative aspects which made me think that he is trust-worthy and little different. I was very happy to get a friend like him.

Though he was a bit careless but he even tried to be sincere. He was straight forward like me. He was innocent like a baby, very funny and emotional too. He was very childish, stubborn and was a huge fan of chocolates and sweets. He didn’t have confidence and feared in very small thing as well. But he wished success like a frog leaps, without any hard work. We used to talk for hours about life, struggle, aim, failures and even quarreled. He used to hide his pain within himself and try to give a big smile so that no one could see tears in his eyes. Sometimes, he used to be very hopeless with life and feared to face difficulties but I always tried to comfort him and made him realize that hardwork pays. He had that potential but he wasn’t exploring himself. I tried my best to make him responsible. Whenever he used to laugh freely, it gave me relief that my friendship could bring happiness in his life. I never wanted to interfere in his personal life but he himself used to say me everything about himself. The thing that i liked about our friendship that it was pure. I never feared that our friendship would turn into something else because we both didn’t want it. So, I felt those things which I had hidden deep inside myself, now can be expressed. I really felt too good. Being a friend, I thought it’s my responsibility to take care of him and even I tried my best. Though I couldn’t give solutions to all of his problems, doubts but I listened and tried to seek answers. Though I couldn’t change his destiny but I tried to be whenever he needed me. His successes are not mine yet I could share in his laughter and joy. His decisions are not mine to make or judge but I tried to support and encourage him. His every behaviors, his anger, laughter was very special. He liked to be praised and acted so sweetly whenever I praised him. I always cared him as a true friend but I never expected anything in return. So, I boasted for being such a friend.

I felt so bad when once he said-“ kritika, the day when our college would end , I wouldn’t be able to stop my tears because I have to depart from u .” I never wanted that day to come. Truly, I even didn’t want to imagine that day. But he eased the situation saying-“why do you think Galileo invented telephone?” which I answered with a smile –“it’s not Galileo, its Graham Bell.”...we both laughed so much.

I thought that our friendship is an example to everyone and happy with myself. I used to call him very often so that he would feel that his friend is always with him. I always said him-“you needn’t remember me in your happiness but don’t you dare to hide your pains with me.” I had always tried to understand him. I tried to make him laugh when he was about to cry. I am still sure that he would never find a friend like me. In this way our friendship was attaining heights.
But true is the saying-“too much of anything is bad” my care, wishes might have become bitter for him. He started behaving in a different way. I even tried to call him but he ignored it. when I asked him what’s matter, he instead started saying-“ I am always like this and why are you bothered about me?” I thought there might be something which is troubling him so I went to meet him but... he became so furious and said those words which still torment me-“who do you think you are? Truly, I am too much irritated by you and your so called friendship. I would be grateful if you stop calling me. So, good bye!”

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Camomile used to scare off rhinos

Camomile used to scare off rhinos: A remote Nepalese forest community has discovered another unlikely use for camomile - it scares away unruly rhinos.

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Proud To Be What I Am

 I am a girl with lots of courage
And usually listen to Jason Mraz .
I am bindass as well as disciplined
Lots of expectations sometimes drive me insane.
Poet to composer, dancer to Radio Jockey
There is nothing I can’t be except lucky.
Hate skinny jeans and all glam dresses
The   plastic girls with Gucci sunglasses.
I’m amazed to see the fashion haunted
With high heels, short minis and lean thighs confronted.
But it seems, I am the exception
Amongst all skinny babes and their perfection.
Zero size body and those fine curves
Seems to attract everyone  but it gets on my nerves.
All those dumbo’s and their puppets
Wish I could disappear them in my pockets.
I am fine to be what I am,
A strict girl with big spectacles
And  little fat at some layers.
Big eyes, flat nose as well as long plaited hair
I just love my family, friends and rest I don’t care.
So, stop being showcase and try to be natural
Needn’t be judged by my weight but by my morals……

Monday, January 24, 2011


Every time the cold breeze touches me,
I feel you have touched me.
                                             Every time the fair river crosses me,
                                              I feel you have crossed me.

Your smile gives me pleasure,
And your tears give tortures.

                                               Don't know..through which route,
                                               You reached the secret place of my heart.

Dear,you have conquered my mind,

And truly you have made me blind.

                                                 I don't like anything except you,
                                                 I don't like to see anything except u.

Yes, i have been mesmerized by you
Yes, I am in love with you......       


Wednesday, January 19, 2011

u me and our earth.....


Despite the highly trumpeted Copenhagen conference came to an end without any legally binding conclusions, we can’t deny the fact that the earth is boiling. Global warming has been a global warning today and if we still lag behind to cope its effects, we surely would fail to save our own existence.

On the late 1980s, scientists began to suggest that earth’s energy flux was no longer in balance, earth’s surface getting warmer affecting the elements of climatic system. By 1995,it became evident that main culprit was CO2 emissions produced by burning fuels, coals, gases and oils in factories, power station and motors. It is estimated that a typical coal fired plant generates 3,700,000 tones CO2 annually causing damage equal to cutting down 161 million trees. It also emits 10,000 tones of S02, 10200 tones of 03 forming NO, 77.1 kg Hg and 102.1 kg As. And hence, it’s obvious that the rich on planet are responsible for it. They owe their present luxurious lifestyle and prosperity to years of historical emissions that have accumulated in the atmosphere since the start of industrial revolution.

And ironically, the most affected are the poors on the planet. Poor developing countries, particularly small island nations and we, residing at the base of the Himalayas will be the worst hit. The melting of ice caps lead to the rise in sea level that can turn many people into refugees, moreover the poor countries like Nepal are least prepared to face the wrath of glacial lake outburst floods- GLOF and many other problems causing enormous loss of life and property. Climate change has become one of the prime issues threatening the sustainability of world’s environment, besides it has impact on livability, health and economy of globe. A rise in global temperature causes sea levels to rise as polar ice caps and glaciers begin to melt along with thermal expansion of water. Another consequence is uncertain weather pattern which brings loss of property and life, uncertainty in precipitation pattern and stress on bio-diversity.

Any limit on carbon emission by developed countries amount to a limit on economic growth, turning climate change mitigation into an intensely political issue. international negotiation under UNFCCC aimed at limiting GHG emissions have turned into a tug of war with rich countries unwilling to compromise their life styles and poor countries unwilling to accept a premature cap on their right to basic development. Asking developing countries to reduce carbon emission level now amounts to asking them to freeze their standards of living which would further lead to global inequality.

1 tone of GHG produced by rich countries can be taken equal to one tone of gas produced by the peasant in Guatemala or Nepal. The answer comes- NO. The first tone is the result of “luxury” whereas second is of basic “survival”. “It’s possible to imagine building higher seawalls around New Orleans, but Bangladesh? California may figure out a way to deal with the loss of snow pack in its mountains, but Nepal? That’s why LDC bloc has increasingly focused on “survival” as a goal in climate talks”- said Bill Mckibben.
What’s the fault of polar beer?
What’s the fault of coral reefs?
Ironically, what’s the fault of the Himalayas which used the least of fossil fuel is the most vulnerable to the consequences of fossil fuel combustion?
Is this a blame game where “beggars can’t be choosers” and the riches are not sacrificing a little bit .controversy of “luxury” and “survival” emissions remains unresolved.

But why are we forgetting that preventing this global problem is not just an economic or ecological issue. It has become global co-operative enterprise in which all big and small, rich and poor, powerful and powerless must co-operate to achieve a global objective for the global good. Each country asks itself- “How do I do the least and get the other countries to do the most?” When they should be asking instead –“How do we co-operate to achieve our shared goals at minimum cost and maximum benefit?” 0bviously, the highest emitter have to carry the bigger share of the burden but the poorer countries also have to be effective partners on global stage and putting forward a stronger a stronger voice.

Effective accord must help vulnerable countries especially the poorest of the poor and highly vulnerable areas and island nations to adapt climate change. The most interesting fact to emerge is that fully 70% of the reductions needed by 2020 can be achieved by investing in three areas:
  • increasing energy efficiency
  • reducing deforestation
  • use of low carbon energy source and technologies such as carbon capture and storage through global collaboration
The only thing is we don’t want big sacrifices but an initiation to overcome this global problem collectively. If focused on clear, practical and achievable goals major reductions can be made. A radical new approach within manageable timeframe must be for forwarded. As we are the problem creator, we need to share the responsibility of solving it rather than blaming each other.

Every tiny change multiplied by millions of people living on our planet, has the potential to make a difference. Saving the environment isn’t about rich or poor, dark or fair, it’s just about going green. Hence, we need to rush for the sake of our earth, for the sake of our future generations and for the sake of other creatures who share this planet with us. What we still lack is the wisdom, courage and compassion to convert our knowledge into reality. But now we really need to worry because,
If not earth, where?
If not now, when?
If not us, who?