Thursday, January 5, 2012

A tale of two souls!

"I don't know anything, the only thing I know is: I love U"
that's how it started. His cupid darted right straight to her heart and she couldn’t escape! The wound was very deep but she wasn’t feeling any pain as if she was longing for it since long.
Aastha was a simple, young, energetic girl. She loved the way she was. Her friend’s said that she was quite cheerful, never afraid to stand up against anything wrong and very friendly! She was very bold kind of girl. It was very rare to see her sad and quite.
But like many of us, she had 2 faces; the one she was showing was strong, bold and happy while the hidden one was the sad, silent and fragile part of her deep within herself. As a normal teenager, she also wished for her prince charming that would hold her, embrace her and make her feel special. The guy who would accept her the way she is; both bold as well as fragile, silent, solitaire as well as gregarious. She was so complex yet simple. But all these feeling was lying locked in one of the dark and secret corners of her heart. She had hidden it safely so that it couldn’t be opened easily.
But the fate can’t be avoided. His innocence way of expressing his love like a small kid compelled her to think about it. His continuous knock on the door of her heart weakened the lock and it broke.
Bishwas had conquered her completely. He was a complete package,
Sometimes rude, sometimes polite,
Sometimes arrogant, sometimes sweet n soft.
Sometimes giving damn, sometimes caring
Sometimes hated, sometimes loved
Sometimes annoyed, sometimes joked
Sometimes full of attitudes, sometimes gentle
Sometimes cunning, sometimes innocent
Sometimes impatient, sometimes calm
Sometimes emotional, sometimes rigid
Sometimes fragile, sometimes strong!

All these blend of small adorable characters like a kid attracted her toward him. Knowingly, unknowingly he had become a part of her. Though Aastha tried a lot not to fall for him but she failed. The ambush became soft and sweet bed of flowers for her. His smile, his voice, little things he did not only affected her, they had tranquilized her.
The strange thing about their love story is that they had never seen or met each other. Thanx to the technology!! Two different people from different place were linked through these virtual waves and now they have shared their hearts too.
The girl asked frequently the reason to love her without seeing but the guy always refused to say anything, he just said-‘I don’t have reason to love u, but I love u!’ I don’t know how he judged her but he loved him truly. He couldn’t see his sweetheart being sad or silent. He loved the way she was. He felt as if the girl taught him how to live the life and she was some sort of inspiration to him. He used to comfort her, encourage her and love her like she is the bestest thing that ever happened to him. He had surrendered his sensitive heart to her so that she would keep it safely. She used to regard him as a walnut which is hard at cover but very soft inside. They used to talk for hours, dreaming about their future, quarreling, cracking jokes, laughing, appreciating each other, supporting, advising and most of the times loving each other.
I realized my weakness; I just want to be with you, hug you, cry in front of u and hugged by you. I have turned into Romeo always thinking about you and I want to hold you tight and kiss you. I will never let you go away. I wanna live with you, cry and die with you!
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The girl’s heart was melted by all these tender words of him. She had always dreamt that her life partner would possess characters of her father and just as she wished he had some of them. He was like Gu Jun Pyo of Jan Di (Boys over flowers) and Edward of Bella (twilight).
I have fallen for you and now I can’t stop thinking about you. I could be all that you needed if you let me try. I am in love for the first time and now I m terrified. I fear to not be with you. Just hold me close and never let me go. I am not perfect but I will try my best. You are the gift by God to me so I will do anything just to conserve u. Nothing will ever come between us coz I will be standing right next to you. I had never thought it would be so deep and beautiful but now it’s already better than that. I can’t imagine being away from you! So just hide me within yourself. I am very delicate so handle my heart with care!’
They both had some problems like they both have attitude problem. They can’t say sorry to each other so easily and don’t accept their mistakes. They had some superiority complex! The girl couldn’t express everything while the guy over-expresses himself. He was little demanding and too impatient sometimes. The girl becomes too rational and reasonable sometimes. The boy wants to hide himself from the world and this makes girl insecure sometimes. She wants the guy to be what he is, in front of her not what he shows to the rest. She wants that he would also trust her fully and have faith that she may be the one he was waiting for. And the guy also wants that she would always be polite and sweet to him. She would work as a healer to all his sufferings and pains. The problem with the guy was he doubts too much. He doubted himself; He doubts that he would be the right person for her or not, he will keep loving her or not, He will hurt her or not and many other things. He didn’t trust himself. But the girl is confident with her relation. She has faith on him and she thinks together they can create their own wonderful dreamland. The only thing she demands his support, love and respect. No matter what she is not going to leave his hands!
Everything was going perfect, their seed of love was getting good atmosphere to grow but then suddenly, one day the guy felt as if he is not the one for the girl. He thought the girl deserve more, he will not keep her happy. He started avoiding her. It wasn’t easy for him but he just wanted to prove him bad in her eyes. He was hurting himself just to make the girl get something that she deserves.He suddenly wanted to deviate and the reason was her happiness. He was a foolish. How could she be happy without him? How could she forget him or avoid him? He had become her life…her heart beat, her every breathe, her dream. She would rather face the storms holding his hand rather than leaving him alone in the storm. But he was trying so hard that the girl also took a step for him. They both were sacrificing their love for each other. Both are acting kiddish coz they are meant for each other,but they are just assuming that the other deserve mush better.

But still Aastha has little ray of hope that he would be back and realize that they are incomplete without each other.
Dear,I am lucky to fall in love with you..i m caught up in ur smile.I had never opened myself to anyone.I even don't wanna change u coz I loved u for what u are..But now, I am lost. I will never be the same without you.I don't know what is compelling u to be away from me coz i know that it's not easy for u too.You can't show off in front of me, dear. It's hard to hold back when I'm holding you in my arms.We needn’t rush and I don’t wanna mess things up.We can built the foundation on a solid stone so that winds ,hurricanes, storms can’t break our love..rains can’t flow it away.But it's possible only if we are together and I believe we can and we will.If we have confidence of success over our dreams and desires that we have trusted then we’ll achieve remarkable and unbelievable success!I just love you like never ever loved no one before and want to be loved by you forever!'
So, finally the girl have said her words and she is just waiting for the boy's decision!And the tale is in such a mode that it can turn anywhere, either to the end or a new beginning?
What do you prefer or what do you think they both deserve?



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Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Struggling with myself!

I don't know what to write and what to say but still i couldn't help it...
Neva thought this would happen
Neva thought i would feel it
Neva thought i would be so deep
Neva thought it would end before starting!
I neva wanted this to happen and i did..
Now i realize its all my fault!
I neva meant to!
Am i forbidden?
Is it sinful?
Can't i dream?
I m so fragile n weak..
I had to surrender!
but i m not going to be helpless..i will fight..and i will take revenge for all the pain!
I will fight wid myself! I will fight wid the thoughts! i will fight with the conceptions! i will fight wid the society! i will not let this happen wid others!
i kept quite for long but it doesn'

t mean i can't! I will not only complain now..
i will dare to change!
I will fight!!