Challenges faced by female field biologist in context of Nepal/South Asia

I recall vividly when one of my male friends in college said to me, ‘It’s so easy for a woman in this field. NGOs, or even seniors who have some opportunities that involve field assistants, choose woman over man for sure.’ Furrowing my eyebrows, I asked him, “Really?” His logic was women who may not be qualified will get more opportunity. In addition, he said, many times senior who has position as field assistants grant those position to women feeling pity for them or being lured by them rather than opening the opportunity to other men.

So, is it really that easy for women? This topic has been deep down in my heart and I have vented about it many times in my personal diary, but recently while chatting with my amazing friend Aishwarya Bhattacharjee about the challenges we face in the fieldworks, I felt like this would be perfect thing to share.

To give a background to my friends who may not have an idea of what I have been doing, I have been pursuing my dream to be wildlife biologist here in USA. Currently my work requires no field work, as most of my research is extracting DNA from birds’ feathers. My love for wildlife research started when I was studying forestry science as an undergraduate in Nepal. It opened up many opportunities that I never expected before and also got me hooked me on nature. I was involved in wide range of field work, from traveling across eastern Nepal to collect samples for forest carbon inventory and setting up camera traps outside national parks tracking wildlife to bird-watching and interviewing people who had been affected by the wildlife. After doing all sorts of work, I realized that I was more in love with the wildlife-based research. I have travelled around 50 districts in Nepal out of 75, mostly for the field works and few for sheer pleasure of traveling. Basically, there were two types of field works that I participated in. 

There are many challenges that both men and women such as strenuous walks, difficult terrain, bad weather conditions, lack of certain infrastructures. However, I have come across certain challenges that are specific to women.

    1. Convincing parents: 

   I think it is the most common issue back home in Nepal. I have seen many of my female friends who had to seek parental permission, myself included, before making any plans. As a result, many female do not choose assignments in remote areas that may take months, but even for the other type of field work, they were not sure if their parents would permit them to go. It’s not always easy. I have had many situations when my father questioned the purpose of the trip and blatantly said that I can be raped if I went in such fieldwork. I can’t tell you how it angered and frustrated me when I was presented with exciting opportunities only to have my parents forbid them, and I could not debate enough with them, as that was considered disrespectful. Based on the cases of rape and sexual violence on women, I understand that parents are controlling because they don’t want their daughters to be the victim. Most of the times, I had to give every detail of the field work, the names and contact numbers of people and the organization so that my parents could verify the project and have the names of people to contact if they are unable to contact me directly in the field. Being away from home helps as I can decide on my own and just let them know about the decision where they feel helpless. But truly saying, they are just worried about you and even though it’s a challenge, it’s not the hardest one.

      2.  Lack of secure workspace in the field:

I think it would be one of the hardest one. This situation arises when you are trying to get involved into different things so that you can figure out your path or your calling. So, as I mentioned in the undergrad days, I loved trying out different projects. But where do you get hold of these projects? Most of the time, it was either your senior who was working on their research and they needed some field assistants, or it could be some NGOs that were looking some interns or foreign researchers. The challenge here was not the type of work but the type of people who were going. I remember some of the opportunities that was dream projects to be a part of, but I had to reject because of the men that were the part of the team. You had to be concerned about who is going rather than what are you going to do. It’s obvious that women are most vulnerable during field works and I have heard from some other girls how men take such opportunities as the time to “enjoy”. While not many may not come jump over you like a predator, but they would definitely be subtle about it. What about the uncomfortable situations when all the team members would be drunk and behave inappropriate? If a woman would dare to speak, they would shut her by saying she is over-reacting, or she may never get the opportunity to work or would be defamed by the same people as they would have power. Having heard all those horrible stories and not wanting to put myself in such situations, I have always listened to my intuitions. So, I decided what to choose depending on my intuition and the presence of other women in the team.  However, I loved the extreme field works which was physically challenging but very rewarding. Hence, it was challenging to always find women in the team and many times I had to give up on them. While sometimes, it may not be the team but very hostile environment. Out of many, the one that scared me to death was when I had to stay overnight at the only hotel that was there by the bus stop in Okhaldhunga. I had walked to this bus stop which usually takes 2 days of walking to catch the bus to Kathmandu in a day. I was tired and hungry and one of the people of my team also had accompanied me. While eating dinner, all I could see was the drunk drivers staring at me and some women seem to be entertaining them. I just hated the vibe and after dinner when I rushed to the room, I realized the room had 6 single beds. The thought that I have to be sharing the room with all those crazy men was frightening. Hence, the only thing I could do was take out some big jackets and clothes from my bag and put it on to appear big, cover my hair with the cap and hide in the blankets so nobody would realize there is a girl.  I had one night to not fall asleep, but I was so tired that I slept like a log. I woke up in the middle of the night thinking something was wrong. Thankfully, nothing happened to me but after that I could not sleep at all. 

3. Lack of mentors:

I think this would be the one of the most frustrating challenges for me. We all know how much important role a mentor plays in achieving the goal.  I know the importance of hardwork, dedication and effort everybody has to put on it either you are a man or woman but personally, not having access to mentorship has been one of the biggest decelerating factors. As per the culture, we can see that men learn from men and women pass their knowledge on the younger generation but not in intellectual level. Man has that access to go to another man and learn, I have seen many of my male friends going in various field works with other senior men. While a woman just can’t easily approach a man. I do think the barrier sometimes is so strong that woman can’t have enough courage to seek help but even she does many times such request is either misunderstood as sexual interest or not even considered worth. I have had encounters where my genuine curiosity has been taken as a cue to assault me which has literally shaken my ability to trust those “experts in the field”. To be honest, either you have to find yourself a boyfriend who is already doing a lot of projects and take you along which is a great way to learn or else you have to have some kind of family relationship to approach some experts who can guide you. I have had many situations when I approach people and they don’t even consider giving a try or genuinely interested in helping a young girl who wants to learn with the “experts”. In this case, I have realized, even if it’s going to take me forever, I will be taking those tortoise steps and will not give up.

4. Hypocrite well-wishers:

While I have mentioned about men in the project or the field team who are creepy. I also have problem with men or NGO’s who are quite liberal and think women should get equal opportunities but also think women are too tender to go to extreme environments and also not beneficial as having a woman in the team increase the costs of field works. Ironically, they will even give more priority to women in some projects and will use those women as the mascot to paint how generous they are by empowering women but when it comes to action in some demanding field works, they don’t trust ‘Nepali’ women can do it efficiently. I hate such double standards or generally also some tendencies of "colonial hangover" and think such attitude are equally harmful. 

In addition to all these major challenges, I also can’t deny the fact that politics do play another big role in either getting the project or even finding mentors in Nepal which is very unfortunate. Favoritism, nepotism and corruption has crippled almost every sector so this one is not devoid of them either.

Having said all these, do I regret choosing the field of study which is not “usually-for-girls”? Absolutely not! I have been the happiest ever since I have chosen this and no matter how challenging it is, it’s worth keep fighting for.There are already many women who share the similar stories like I do, who may be facing even more challenging and threatening situations and yet following their passion which is why we must encourage more women to join in the league. Moreover, I also can’t ignore the fact that there are some genuine men who are there to support young women and encourage them towards achieving their goals. 

I also think we women should have the courage, empathy and support towards each other. Rather than gossiping and fueling the nonsense rumors, we should learn to stand-up for each other, pave the way and provide mentorship to other women. We can achieve anything, and we are no lesser than men in anyways. So, lets get united and lift each other up. And to men who think women are getting advantage over them, I think you need to brace yourself because we have not started yet.

P.S I want to hear the stories of women who have gone through various uncomfortable situations either in their field works, office settings or any environment. I would genuinely appreciate and also let you know that you are not alone. We all have been in similar situations, but the important thing is making effort so that no other younger women has to go through it again.

(Some more pics from my fieldworks)

This was in Thailand :) counting migrating birds

Surviving the bombing in Brussels

'Everyone, please get out of the lounge to the open area outside leaving your carry on’, one of the flight attendants came rushing from the other end of the terminal. I was one step away from buying the famous Belgium chocolates in the Duty-free shop in the Zaventem Airport Brussels. I was about to sneak but seeing the sudden unrest enveloping in the airport, pulled myself out of my chocolate world. March 22,2016, I was traveling to USA from Nepal for the first time and my transit was in Brussels,Belgium. 

‘Airport is under attacked by terrorists. Please get outside! ‘- one of the Airport staffs announced loudly with pain in the voice.  ran outside along with other passengers. Meanwhile the fear had taken over. A busy, vibrant airport had turned into a war zone. I was looking around to observe the people not knowing how to react. I saw a young couple crying ang hugging each other tight. ‘Mom, I am safe. I miss you’ a beautiful girl with teary eyes relives her mom on phone. I could see the tears and fear in the eyes of people. I don’t know if it was the cold or the fear that I was shivering inside quite a lot. 

Then an army shuttle came to drop us outside the airport where thousands of passengers were left stranded. I was very much suffocated in the crowd and the whole situation so decided to take a small walk little away from the crowd and happened to see the front part of the airport where the bombing had occurred. I could not approach closer as it was all sealed and many policemen, army and journalists were covering the area. I couldn’t believe my eyes and that’s when I reckon it felt the shock deep inside. ‘Damn, I missed my flight to USA and I don’t know when I will reach?’ What a start of the trip to a different continent. 

 Ambulances were running back and forth. Blood stains and shattered glass, wounded people are all I could see. I thought it’s better to avoid the area.  While walking back, I saw a young girl yelling loud and crying with her friends. I went close to listen and realized she lost her close friends who had planned a random trip to visit Belgium on her insistence. She was waiting outside in a cafe while her friends were coming out of the airport but all she heard was the blast. 

After couple of hours waiting in the cold, we were taken to the air hanger. I took the shelter along with some of the fellow passengers who were also in transit and heading to the same destination. I was somewhat frustrated with having to go through as if I have been cursed during the trip. Either my luggage getting stuck in India for week or flight delayed for a day, survived the massive earthquake back in Nepal etc. Plus I was also menstruating so I was disgusted by the fact that I would be getting to shower soon. I was thinking about all those things in my head when I hear a gentle call from a very beautiful Indian woman who was also traveling via same flight with me.  ‘Do you want some of these breads and yes, I also got shawls?’-she approached to me with a gentle smile and wrapped me up with the warm shawl distributed by the Belgian Red Cross Society.  It was really nice gesture amidst the chaos. In a very short time, we became sisters from strangers. We talked about many things from men to traveling to independence. We shared and created memories together. During the incident, luckily I had got a chance to connect with my Belgian friend Brian Decrop who made an effort to communicate with my family members and friends about my safety. On top of that, he also visited me and brought me some Belgian chocolates.

 

The 3 days went so quick, but it was somewhat a life changing experience for me. The flight officials planned to redirect us to Amsterdam airport as the airport was still shutdown for days.

I enriched myself with another perspective that day. I was in the city which was my dream. Anne Frank was who introduced me to Amsterdam in her diaries and there I stood filled with joy and hoping maybe I could visit her Secret Annex. Amidst the chaos, the blood stains, the shattered glasses and the crispy cold air that chilled my spine, I still could smell the daffodil and tulips outside the hotel. After 5 days of staying inside this closed hall with hundreds of people, their frustrations, anguish and complaints, I was lured to go outside to see those beautiful flower blooming in the gloomy weather reminded me of my idol Anne Frank. I closed my eyes and whispered, ‘Anne, I am here!’- with a big grin on my face. It was my dream to visit Amsterdam and specially Secret Annex. I was there and yet I could not visit as I did not have visa. However, I was grateful to have touched, felt and smelled the country. 

While I recollect the memories from the unique experience of my life, it breaks my heart to be talking about another terrorist attack that happened last week in New Zealand. If you ask the people who went through these horrific experience , you would know how much they pray that nobody has to ever go through such things in life and yet people seem to be making others suffer. Terrorism should not be generalized to certain religion or country . It's like disease that discriminates no-one but now on the name of patriotism, religion or any extremists thought people are killing each other and it sickens me . How can human lose humanity? 

Based on my experiences , all I can say we all have heart- beating beneath our chest no matter how we look, how we dress and what beliefs we have. We all bleed red if wounded so rather than trying to differentiate among ourselves, try to help, respect and be kind to each other as you never know what the other person is going through. Peace! 

P.S I offer my praying for the ones who has lost their lives that day. Hopefully people who experienced it all that day are recovering and enjoying their life to the fullest.I am also very grateful to Belgium govt, airport staffs and volunteers who took care of us. I am grateful to have been granted this life again. 

Menstrual curse

It was a usual day in school, I remember I was in 7^th grade and my favorite subject-English was being taught. During the class, I was having weird nauseous feeling that I had not experienced before. However, I was trying my best to concentrate to the lecture. Despite trying hard, I realized this sudden disgusting feeling of something wetting my underwear and my stomach churning in pain. I guess I was not good at all from hiding the pain. My teacher noticed the change of my facial expression and asked if I was alright. I nodded and said, ‘I am ok’, but I knew something was wrong. Immediately after the class ended, I ran to the toilet to check and here it goes- the monster has awakened. I saw the blood dripping. I remembered having some conversation with mom and my friends about it and the first one is a huge deal. The only thing I remembered about menstruation or “nachune vako” was literally being untouchable and not being able to cook, or walk around the house for 4 days-which I thought was a great way to escape from the household chores when my mom used to get the monthly period. Also, my mom had told that I am not supposed to have any eye-contacts with men during the first period, so I was in dilemma how to avoid seeing men. Luckily my friend came to check me on the bathroom and then we both went to talk with one of the female teachers so that I can go home.  My friend gave her sweater for me to wrap around my back to avoid seeing the blood stains in my skirt and walked me home too.

Google Images

Upon reaching home, I realized my mom was away for some work, so I waited for her to come and help me coping. I can never forget that day when I felt that my mom was so angry at me without reason and treating me like some sinful creature. She gave me some cotton cloths to use as pad. She had to rush to office, so she left some food as I was no longer allowed to go to kitchen or anywhere around. She told me to lock the door and stay in and don’t let my father or brother to see myself. I was not knowing what was going on, and just thought it was having a stressful day.

Then couple of hours later in the eve, my aunt came to pick me up and said, during the first period you are not meant to stay in your house as its regarded impure and have to avoid everyone specially men. When it turned dark outside, she wrapped me up with a scarf and said to follow her. I was completely aloof of what was going on but just followed the instructions. Upon reaching I realized I am not even staying at my grandparent’s home but in one of their neighbor’s dungeon. Literally, it was on the ground floor of a 4 storey house, a cold empty room completely closed with dark curtains, a mattress, blanket and pillow. By the way, the curtains were supposed to be there even in the day light as I was not allowed to see the sun as well. Basically, I was imprisoned for 12 days in an unknown scary looking room with myself and in utter darkness. My aunt would come to provide food every now and then and also come to sleep at night but at the other end of the room and somedays she did not. I was told I can go to the toilet that was outside the house only before the sunrise and after the sunset. I had to wash those blood-stained cloth in the dark and also was not allowed to dry it outside. I missed my school, I had no ways to entertain myself, I was in pain, I was scared and heart-broken. I recall how much I hated every single thing about it specially as it was in the middle of the festival. I could hear children singing, playing, laughing while I was there all alone and it was way before we had internet or cell phone. I was isolated, deserted and neglected. 

Once in a while some of my girl-friends, my mom and other aunts came to visit but no one was allowed to touch me. ‘Wow, you have become so fair(white) not having to face the sun, you must be happy!’ - was one of the comments I used to get during the visits, and some would feel bad for me. I tried following up with the assignments and lessons I had missed. Finally, on the final day, there was a purification ceremony before I could go out again. It was a celebration. I received gifts and sweets from my uncles, my family. I recall not being able to open my eyes in the broad daylight after being inside the darkroom for 12 days. I thought the worst was over, but oh boy. The next day after coming out was the final day of the festival and it was Bhaitika(Hindu festival to celebrate siblinghood). It’s a huge celebration in Hindu tradition, though I knew that I was not allowed to celebrate or be a part of any religious or any auspicious occasion for almost a month. However, I was excited that I could see and enjoy.  Everybody was dressed up, houses were decorated and the room where the celebration would start was all set. I was about to enter the room, all of sudden my great grandmother yelled in disguise, ‘Oh my goodness, now she is making everything impure and unsacred. Don’t enter the room. ‘That was the peak of the humiliation and insult I had to face in such a young age in such a vulnerable period where I was still dealing with the fact that I was banished from my home. I lost it there and then, ran out of the room and bursted into tears. My mother and uncle came to pacify me and told I can enjoy at the end of the celebration. But I remember that left a deep scar in my heart which I would say sowed the beads of being a rebelor say burning the rage of feminist in me. 

By the way, I also had to miss the school during my second cycle for 7 days as well. Why? The answer was tradition. But this did not end. In addition, I would get the monthly period most of the times when there is religious ceremonies at home or some festivals and every time I was either isolated or was not allowed to stay at home. Why? Because, I would make the entire house and family impure. I was mocked constantly by my relatives saying that I might be sinful, and God would not want me to participate in the event or my late grand parents did not want me to contribute in the praying. To make it worse, I was blamed for intentionally causing it to avoid the work as well. The worst was that I was told to be the unluckiest person that I had got my period before I set off for a long journey and my parents would not be able to bless me or put tika on. What can be worst than that? I was chastised, cursed, discriminated, mocked , teased many many times just because I went through the most natural phenomenon that every woman undergoes.

Women going through their menstrual cycle are regarded as impure, untouchable and isolated from all the family functions. They are not allowed to enter the house, temples and often sent to a different house or usually a cowshed to spend 4-5 days of their period. However, degrees of severity in the practices can be slightly different in cities vs. rural communities or even in educated vs uneducated families but it exists everywhere.  Every now and then, I read the news of young girls being raped while banished in the “menstrual hut”- a tradition in western Nepal where girls are abandoned during period to a shed usually shared with other animals. They often die from the snake bites, rape and asphyxiation from fires lit to keep warm during winter. It made me feel sick of myself, I so much hated being a woman. Besides the physical discrimination, you can’t imagine the deep  psychological scars it leaves on the mind of young girls who are trying to understand their lives. Strangely, while I am writing this, I can remember every detail of the events that happened long time ago which can explain how painful it could be. It did not matter how educated or uneducated your family is, you still faced the wrath of being a woman which makes a girl hate herself, lose her confidence and blame herself for everything that happened in her life. Though the practice was banned, it has so much rooted cultural support that it’s still widely practiced in our society. And the worst part is, it is so normalized that woman themselves don’t realize that they are treated inhumanely and it’s wrong.

Despite the fact, no Vedas explain a menstruating woman as impure. Even cultural festivals and temples have positivity related to menses while some the anti-menses quotes are mentioned in some extra-vedic scriptures which has no validation. It’s so contradictory while in Hinduism and many other religions on one hand celebrate when a woman gets her period and on the other had there is even more stark hatred, discrimination and humiliation practices towards woman in her menstrual cycle.

Reforming a long-held tradition which has been perpetuated by religion is definitely a challenge; by taking one step at a time, however, changes are possible. One of the solutions can be through education and advocacy targeting all different generations and genders in the community. Raising awareness among women about menstrual hygiene and sanitation during their period is very important. The different measures on how to stay sanitized and safe in the huts, how to take care of the body and what are the tools that can be used during the process can improve the health-related problems. Meanwhile imparting knowledge on why these practices are inhumane and educating specially men and women about menstruation process can be very productive. Men literally have no clue about the processes and effects of menstruation on women because the topic has been considered as a taboo. Hence, providing adequate information can help to discard the superstitious beliefs and accepting the women during menstrual cycles. Eventually, the younger generation can play important role in getting rid of such banishment practices. Finally, women need to supporting other women and help each other to get out of the vicious cycle  because to be true it's mostly women who continue passing this practice to younger generation or say pressurize to follow the tradition which literally doesn't make sense to me. Why would you want other women to suffer what you have suffered already?
 So, while we celebrate the Women’s day, I wish no girls have to face such discrimination during their menstruation and hopefully not hate growing up as a woman. Because, women are the most powerful, compassionate, resistant, strong force that it would not have been possible to sustain our species in the earth without us. We Rise!

P.S. Girls, Do share your stories on your first memories of menstruation and anything about it as it helps healing :) #girlslove 

(Pictures are collected from google except the last one.)

Hello again.. After long time !

It’s been almost a year since I posted anything on my blog. It doesn’t mean I didn’t have anything exciting happening in my life not worth sharing or even thought of blaming on same old ‘creative clogging’. But just in a minute of writing, I died of shame. I was making this up being conscious of what people will say or may be still trying to establish my valid reasons so that you guys won’t think less of me. But to be true, I would say there are couple of reasons.

1.     Being lazy

2.    Doubting myself 

Yes, I was very lazy. Graduate school is quite hectic, when you have teach, take classes and do research all  at the same time. Then, at the end of the day , you are so tired of running around that all you want to do is eat and sleep. After getting well adapted to the system, I still continued doing the same and eventually coming up with excuses of not having enough time or I have something else to focus on. 

Then, even at times when I still gathered my some  intentions to write something up, I would just be doubting my writing . I wrote couple of sentences and just stopped trying thinking I can never even finish a paragraph. I felt like my creative aspect has been dried up and not good enough to be shared. It’s show fascinating that we stop doing things we love just with the thought of ‘what would people say?’ We constantly need validation from somebody else on how good you are. Speaking of that,  we live in the age of social media where everything is actually validated by all people around you rather than you yourself. Do I look good enough? Am I fit enough? Is this place instragramable ? is this angle of pose generate more likes ? Well, I have no problem with sharing your happiness, sorrows and connecting with people but many people are so dependent on it that everything needs to be answered by somebody else. I grew up somewhat like that but not using social media . I still have no idea on fashion or what to wear on what occasion type knowledge so I still have to consult my sister or mom if it looks ok or pretty. Though living far from everyone else has somewhat compelled me to make some decisions for myself but if I could, I would still ask my mom to do shopping for me. 

Anyways, I don’t wanna make it long  write up this time though I feel like with couple of clog clearance , I will definitely be flowing all emotions very soon. So, going back to writing I am encouraging myself to write at least once a week again . And this time I also need your support. If you ever enjoyed my writing or want to hear from me more, please let me know or even remind me if I am not doing as I say . This way I can be accountable for it and share more in the days to come. 

Divided heart!!

Here goes another blog reflecting my current life, full of random thoughts which sometimes make me go crazy. 

I guess it needs an outlet just to calm down. Finally, spring is here in Nebraska, umm, I think so! I see dandelions and many flowers blooming, birdies flying around and chirping celebrating the good weather. In addition, you see humans all over hehe! Yes, everyone is in the street, basking in the sun, enjoying the warmth and soaking all in before Nebraskan weather gets back to normal i.e. unpredictable.  I walk to university every day and I have been doing it almost for a year!  

I have been thinking to get a bike but for many reasons, I am more confident about my feet ;) than any other things hehe! Okay okay, forget about the weather now. Gotta talk what I was thinking. 

My second semester is almost over. Besides, failing multiple times in my project, doing assignments and teaching in the lab, I got to explore almost 7 different states and Australia ;) I really don't know what to do with my wanderlust. It is taking me everywhere and deep inside I want more. Anyways, as I mentioned coming here was a BIG decision in my life. I love traveling but home is where we belong right? Often times, I am in the conflicting state of mind. I so want to be back home and work. I want to go remote areas in Nepal where there is so many valuable information waiting to be uncovered, many species waiting to be discovered. Here, people know so much, many things have already been studied or known. My actual need is back home not here. 

But, you know what stops me here? The quest for knowledge, the passion to learn. As a woman, it definitely sucks to be in that part of the world. I hated not getting to go on research expeditions, I hated not having a mentor who would guide me towards my dream. Based on my experience, many Nepali experts or conservationists think a woman in the field either costs them extra money or logistics issue or can act a source of entertainment in the remote areas. We have so much bio-diversity, many opportunities but we don't want to mobilize our own resources. We can trust a foreigner lady and work with her but can't take a Nepali girl in the same project.

Here I see women being equally competitive as men. There is not a single time you feel like you can't do this just because you are a woman. I am not saying it's perfect here. No, it's not. However, it's much better in comparison to Nepal. As one of my friends told me, 'you can either try cutting a tree with the blunt axe for a long time or take more time sharpening your tool and cut the tree more efficiently.' I reckon being here challenges me to grow every day, it makes me go out of my comfort zone, do things I never thought I would be ever doing. 

Eventually, it's actually helping me grow as a person, as a scientist. I am hopeful that all these challenges will lead me towards my dream. Another pressure on women is family or social pressure. She is not allowed or questioned if she wants to go and work on her own. I would not have hurried to come here if my parents were not forcing me to get married. Life of a woman does not necessarily revolve around family and children only, she has equal rights to aspire. She should be given all the freedom to make choices of her life not impose things upon her. 

Well, that's why I live with this divided heart between home and dream, between who I am and who I want to be.  

To conclude, I have Robert Frost's lines( The Road Not Taken)

I shall be telling this with a sigh

somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-

I took the one less traveled by,

and that has made all the difference.

Nepal to Nebraska

Chasing my dreams in the pursuits of excellence, I have traversed thousands miles to be here in USA. Yes, I am not that strong, I cry at nights sometimes missing my family and friends. I miss the familiarity that used to make me feel safe, the place that I knew and was close to my heart, my home.

But I guess when you have big dreams visioning with the small eyes, you have to make some sacrifices. I wanted to enrich myself with the greater knowledge and I have been granted with this opportunity. I am trying my best to adapt to American culture, advance systems, different in every way. It’s not that easy but I have been doing fine. I feel like a strolling baby , trying to walk but also falling many times. I guess that’s what life is all about; to be able to grow, learn as a person. If we stay stable, too comfortable we will never feel the urge to learn as we feel like we know things much better.

My stay in Lincoln has been really nice so far. I had a training to attend in university where I met so many other young people like me going through the same phase who have left home following their dreams to be fulfilled here. The people here are welcoming too specially from my department(School of Biological Science). I have felt welcomed by every single person and how kind they are to me. Everyday I walk passing the state capitol building which is a local landmark for me. It stands out in the crowd making it easier for me not to get lost. Lincoln is  a small yet beautiful city. I did some exploring of the city a little before the school began ; visited some museums, strolled around downtown and also visited Holmes lake. 

The journey is long and will try my best to make it as smooth as possible. I would end reciting the phrase of my favorite poem by Robert Frost,

The woods are lovely, dark and deep

But I have promises to keep 

and Miles to go before I sleep

miles to go before I sleep. 

And then life happens

I remember reading that life is never a straight line as per the ECG , if it's straight one is dead. Hence, life is meant to have all the ups and downs, highs and lows, crest and trough.

It's so easy to be happy at good times but its equally challenging to face the tough times in life. It's like a fear with death somewhat. We know it can come anytime but still we don't want it to come same is with the hard times in life.

I feel quite fascinated when the good and bad times follow each other so perfectly in a pattern.  After you enjoy some good summer days, the winter crawls in to freeze u, cripple you and make u feel worn out. But when it becomes so predictable, it develops fear inside you. You wouldn't be able to enjoy your happiness coz you fear that it wont last long and it will be followed by tough times which can be very severe. Then, as expected the bad time creeps in when nothing is right. Sometimes, we can think that it's not gonna last long and soon be followed by good days but it's very hard to console our heart which is so much in pain.

Life can get very shitty at times, all we can do is persevere and try looking for those silver linings in the dark clouds you are succumbed into. It's very true that we can't please everyone if we want to achieve something in life. It is our battle and it us who have to be prepared for our own sake. Nobody else will. We will miss the hug and a warm gesture of love and support and seek a gentle pat on our back but you will be all by urself so just brace urself for the uphill battle and pat urself when u need it.

So, the best idea is to immerse in the situation you are in. If you are having amazing days, soak urself in completely. Forget about what is waiting for you soon, enjoy what is with you at the present. Then when the trouble knocks ur door, welcome it with all your heart, Treat it well like a guest and then farewell :)