Few months back, I had watched a video that was shared on facebook. It included a few children: a girl and some boys. The boys were first asked to watch the girl, then smile at her, embrace her. They did all those with giggles and some were blushing. Then suddenly, they were asked to slap her. Unlike other instructions, they were reluctant to obey. A boy said, ‘Real Men should respect her, love her, not beat her.’But, recalling most of the heinous and spine-chilling incidences that have been occurring every now and then in our society has developed a sense on fear on me. What if I am raped?? What if somebody pours acid on my face? What if this, what if that?????So, I want to convey my voice to 3 most important categories men of my life; My Father and My Brother and My Male friends. To Fathers:
I vividly remember when I was
crawling towards you and those stout hands held me so that I won’t fall. Baba,
you are the one who taught me how to deal with this world, and still
teaching!!! You have been for me as a strong anchorage that I can completely
rely on. We have been friends forever and you have never ever made me realize
that I am a fragile woman who has to depend on men for survival. You have
taught me to create my own boundaries.
The most impressive thing you
have done is how you made mom to continue her studies, sent her another city
for higher studies, and decided to take care of 3 young children all by
yourself. I have rarely seen any such men in my society. You have been my
mother, my friend, my teacher and every other form I can imagine. While our
society wants woman to be demure, you wanted me to be dauntless, you wanted me
to be independent, and you wanted me to explore the world. And being the child
of this revolutionary father, I have always been revolutionary. You have always
inspired me to work harder and follow my passion. I would say, you introduced me to myself and
what I am capable of.
Despite all these, you have also
made me aware that the society is not composed of goodness; it has lots of
darker sides. You have made me able to identify the negativities around us so
that I can be cautious, to understand the fact ‘everything that glitters is not
gold’. You have instilled the concept that we need to learn to protect
ourselves in every situation rather than looking for any other person to come
and save us from our plight. We sensed no discrimination between my brother and
me. We both were treated equally not a pinch of differences.
So, isn’t it true that every daughter is, her father’s princess??
How can you molest a young girl
aged like your daughter? How can you pinch her in the breasts taking advantage
of a thickly populated bus? What makes you think that she like it? Did her
dressing sense evoke you?? If so, how would you control when your daughter is
in the similar attire? How would she become characterless if she comes home
late by working all day and I am still a disciplined and exemplary even when I
don’t get to come home for months during my field works with all men counterparts??
If my first salary makes you feel proud,
how can you defame somebody else’s daughter when she is doing job and earning
for her family?
To Brothers:
The day when I held you for the
first time was one of the most beautiful moments in my life. To have a brother
like you is having a dream come true. The way you hold me and wept for hours
when mom had gone for pursuing further studies, I was your caretaker, your mom
for those three years. You have tolerated all my stupidities, my crankiness, my
PMS, my blabbering, my ridiculous jokes with a sweet smile. You were first
audience to hear my poetry and clap me with encouragement; you were the first
one to taste my salt-overdosed curry before I served it to others. I still
remember when you helped an elderly woman trying to cross the road, led her through
the path and pacified her panic holding her tight. You have been my bestest
friend with whom I have shared all my secrets, my happiness, my sorrows, my
crime partner, my game partner. You were the one to wait for me and carry my
heavy luggage every time I return from my field works; the person whom I can
blackmail emotionally every now and then to complete my practical drawings or
the remaining dishes to be washed. I never felt there was any difference between
you and me.
So, aren’t all those girls,
sisters of somebody else????
How can you dare to misbehave
with her taking the advantage of the dark streets? How can you dare to tear her
clothes, brutalize her and rape her? How can enjoy seeing her shattered and
withered? You once said that you like me the most when I smile and on the
contrary how can smash those smiling faces? Don’t you remember me every time
you do that?
To male friends:
I just can’t pen down any
specific person or any specific moments which wouldn’t have been so wonderful
without you guys. Like, seriously, I would say I have been blessed to have
amazing male friends who have constantly supported me, encouraged and even
appreciated me for my achievement. We have partied hard in the nights, danced
like crazy beasts, and chattered all day, shared lots of laughter and even
sadness together. I never felt insecure or have to worry when I am with you
all. I was never misbehaved or treated with disrespect. Despite, you guys were
quite concern about my and other female friends’ safety every time we are on a
tour or some visits. This was the main reason I never had such negative
impressions and had stronger bonds with you guys.
Wouldn’t she have male friends?????
Then how can you disrespect any
other girl walking on the streets at night? How can you pour acid on her face
just because you liked???? How can you bully her with your bunch of hooligans
claiming you’re the Man??? How can you be so inhumane? Does it hurt your self
esteem if she discards your proposal? Does it make your feel weaker? How can
boys get seduced so easily only seeing a girl, no matter what she wears; sari,
kurta, jeans, shorts, bikini or veil?
Besides these, there are men in
different forms; husband, son, boyfriends etc. How come you can act so selfish?
Conclusion:
What amuses me is, this dual
character of man: protector as well destroyer!!! Domestic violence, rape, acid
attacks and many other forms of acts is ultimate avatar of male chauvinism,
patriarchal mindset and disgrace to mankind.
Stop blaming women for every
crime you do. It happened because she evoked me. Had she not fought back, I
wouldn’t have killed her. If she was my daughter, I would have burnt her alive.
Women are like flowers and hence should me in the appropriate place. A girl
from decent family doesn’t go out at night. We have many Sangita, Puja and
Nirbhaya in our socities and we want no more!!
Enough is enough!!!!! What do you
think we are; puppets???? You can say anything you want, do whatever you want?
We have no value without you??? What irks me the most is women are still
regarded as nothing, we don’t have any importance, not even as the creature
crawling on the ground. To be true, I know no feminism, I am just fighting for
human rights. It’s quite ironical, belonging to the majority of the population;
I am still striving to enjoy my rights.
As Socrates said, ‘No society can progress
until both men and women aren’t developed equally.’ And I can clearly vision
where my country is leading!!!
