Tulmaya aama peers out through the wooden-carved
window of the oldage home. The street is busy with people moving here and there.
But unlike the rest, she was there lying stationary with her shabby choli and
old dhoti and her eyes full of tears.
I remember
how her world turned upside down after the demise of her husband. The way her
son, daughter-in-law and even grandchildren tortured her was so much
intolerable. I also heard that they tried to kill her so many times that she
had to escape. And with nowhere to go, she took a shelter in the oldage home.
It’s been 17 years already.
Since then, she
is living the lonesome life. She spends most of her time praying to God,
chanting hymns, crying silently. ‘I hope my children are very happy and wish
they have to suffer no problems in their life.’ She prayed with a wrinkled
smile.
It’s really
strange, how a child can act so inhumanely with his own parents; the one who
gave birth to him, nurtured, and made him capable enough. And when the time
comes to pay them back, he kicks them out of the home. The cases of
misbehavior, torture, forbidding the parents in the oldage home or temples has
become very common these days. Has the situation become worse?
We also
can’t deny the fact that the society has become very competitive and fast at
present. We need to work vigorously, run here and there to earn a living. We
have to struggle really hard to survive in this world, resulting a very little
family time. In this rush hour, how can we stop everything and sit to look
after the old parents? Who will earn for their medical treatments and many
other expenses? Humans have turned into machines. The issue is also very
genuine. Unlike the past traditional society, where women used to stay at home,
took care of the house and old members of the family now, we are in complete
different arena. Women have double loads; look after the household chores along
with outside office. How can the time be spared to take care of the elderly
member?
I recall the
poem, ‘Sailing to Byzantium’ by W.B Yeats where he wished to be in the heavenly
place where he needn’t regret being old. So, is there any way out to address
both parties? Yes, it may sound very rude as per the traditional mindset of our
society but it can help both old as well as younger generation to keep the
relationship bonded. We need to build some sophisticated oldage homes that
fulfill all the services and requirements of the old people; including medical
services, sanitation, nutritional food, religious programs etc.
If the
parents stay at those well equipped homes at their own will, it will not deter
the relationship with the children as they won’t have to go through the torture
given by their own children. The children also will be compelled to visit their
parents every weekend or holidays. This approach will address both the
traditional as well as modern society’s aspiration making this nation another
Byzantium for old.